Everybody at my place is eagerly awaiting the arrival of a new baby (not mine!) in the house. And so it is no wonder I can think, dream and see nothing but babies :).(Its like when you or your friend buys a new car/ bike, you suddenly start seeing/ noticing that model everywhere on the road.) I stop and gaze at those beautiful little frocks and winter-wear, those cosy prams, enchanting toys, johnson and johnson ads........ everything!
During one such trancelike moments I suddenly remembered an incident a few months back. My mom-in-law had told me about a friend who recently had a baby. Now that is not surprising except for that the lady has a 16 year old daughter! The lady was all embarrassed telling this to my mom-in-law, but then they also had a hearty laugh. The point that made me think was that her daughter is now ashamed of telling anyone that she has a 7 month old baby brother. Not that it is surprising, even I would have probably felt the same in her situation. But why? Is it because it shows that the parents have a sexual relationship even after all those many years of marriage? Inspite of having a 16 year old child? That they are still attracted to each other and feel the need for 'it'? Because we are so ashamed of accepting the 's' word and more so when it concerns our elders?
A couple of years back I remember watching Pinjar where Lillet Dubey is pregnant at the time they are seeking a match for daughter Urmila Matondkar. I had felt a definite discomfort at that, but then I thought that's how it was those many years ago. All our grandfathers/ mother and even some of our parents do have 6-7 or more siblings and then the age different between the first and the last is more than 15 years too. They never felt ashamed about their siblings or their parent's relationship. Probably because they were 'unaware' of 'birds and bees'? Or it was so normal a thing that no one ever thought it different, embarrassing? Or did they have better things to think about and their minds were not 'polluted' with such thoughts? What was it exactly?
Why are we so ashamed of our sexuality at a time when we claim to be 'modern'? Not as 'narrow-minded' as our ancestors. When we talk and 'defend' live-in relationships, pre-marital sex, one-night stands and extra-marital affairs? When we go ga-ga over those sleazy music videos and Mallika Sherawats? When we talk about introducing sex education in school? When we praise and give examples of the 'westerners' who are sexually involved even in the 50's and 60's. Why are we not just 'shy', but 'ashamed' of this basic need and desire of every human being? Why today? Why not all those many years and decades ago? What has changed?
Is it not wonderful to know that a couple who has been married for a long time, has had kids, still feels the same kind of attraction and love for each other? That advanced age and beer bellies have not led to detachment? That even after fighting and roaring over increased expenses and bills, work stress and less time for oneself, they are eager for those moments of togetherness? That at a time when love generally fades away after a couple of kids and few years of marriage, the couple is still in love so much as to desire each other? Then why be embarrassed and gossip tauntingly? Why not accept and appreciate their love!!